Prophecy in the News: November 2025

Keeping one eye on the Headlines and the other on the Heavens!

55% of the world’s population live under an autocracy (dictatorship). 38% live in a “flawed democracy”. Only 6.6 % of the world’s population live in what is termed a “full democracy”.

In health science news, geneticists have discovered a way to permanently cut cholesterol levels in half. The serum called CTX310 is a one time injection that permanently switches off the gene in the liver that causes cholesterol build up in arteries. People born with this gene "turned off" never have cholesterol issues. Cholesterol build up causes heart disease, strokes and is the number one killer of adults.

Dr. Oz, the Administrator of Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services, announced at a press conference that the Trump administration is working with Eli Lilly & Novo Nordisk to make their weight loss medication available to Medicare and Medicaid members. He then announced that the use of this drug was expected to cause Americans to lose a total of 135 billion pounds of unnecessary fat. On an interesting note, if you take 135 billion pounds and divide it by America’s population of 342 million people, each person will apparently lose 394.7 pounds. Said Dr. Oz, “I’m a doctor not a mathmagician!”

Airbnb Association of America is looking to find ways to cut down on rentals that host rowdy holiday parties. Now each rental unit will come with an acoustic guitar and the lyrics to the song Kumbaya.

A new type wet suit is being developed that can withstand the bite of a great white shark. I think we are all looking forward to seeing the look on the face of the person chosen to test the suit.

A Florida man was arrested Halloween night for being under the influence. He was taken to jail while still wearing his prison inmate Halloween costume. So, instead of being dressed for success, he was dressed for arrest. Only in Florida.

Kim Kardashian stated in an interview that she was certain there was never a moon landing. “Then where in blue blazes did I land on July 16^th, 1969?” yelled an elderly Buzz Aldrin at his TV set? For the record, the US has been to the moon six times and machinery parts left there can be seen by telescopes.

Disney officials announced that they have merged Hulu TV with Fubo TV. The new network will be called HOBOGOO.

China makes users of public toilets watch commercials before the toilet paper is dispensed. It is said that these people are now watching commercials while screaming?

There are currently no national standards concerning police car chases. Last year, 90% of car chases were for traffic infractions.

An AI robot has been developed that can scan a yard for individual weeds and then spray herbicides directly on them. Great…now what will geography majors do for work?

Feral dogs living in the Chernobyl radioactive zone have started turning blue. In related news, children’s animated TV star Bluey has stopped showing up for work.

A newest trend for the disposing of human remains is now a recycling option. It is known as Human Composting. It is in some ways like cremation except the remains are dried and then processed into pellets that are mixed with soil and mulch. This way you can sit on your back porch sipping on a cold glass of ice tea while watching grandma pushing up a pine tree in your back yard.

Tillamook Ice Cream has developed a hybrid product called Butternaise. It’s a combination of rich creamy Tillamook butter with Kewpie mayonnaise. The advertisement says, “The collaboration you have been waiting for! Just wait until you slather this rich creamy mixture on your grilled five cheese sandwich!” The product sold out nationally in one week. The label has a disclaimer explaining to the customer that they might want to collaborate with a cardiologist before ingesting.

The state on New Jersey disposes over 21 million tons of garbage from the tristate area in over 800 different dump sites. It has been difficult to contain much of the garbage because of a series of recent strong east coast storms. This has cause the New Jersey state legislature to designate a new state bird. It is now officially a plastic bag stuck on a tree limb.

Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines announced its newest ship, ‘Star of the Seas’ Its 1,200 feet long, and can accommodate 11,000 pathogens.

The good news is, 80 year old Natalie Grabow became the oldest woman to complete the Ironman World Champion Triathlon running 140.6 miles in 16 hours and 45 minutes, setting a new world record. The bad news is, her family refuses to believe her.

Foster Farms issued a recall of 3.8 million pounds of corndogs due to what it termed “Extraneous Material”. What exactly qualifies as extraneous material when you are talking about a corndog? Actual meat?

Please explain why people bother to leave reviews of an airport? No one goes there expecting to have a good time. It’s a glorified bus station. Let’s be honest, we only go there because that’s where the planes are.

It is not illegal in California to teach while intoxicated. In fact, studies show that the teachers are happier and the children enjoy learning how to recite the alphabet backwards.

A New Jersey man was arrested for DUI. He registered a whopping  0.26% on the state patrol breath analyzer test. The arresting officer said that he immediately knew that the man was very intoxicated because when he rolled down his window, the smell of alcohol was so strong that he could no longer smell New Jersey.

Frozen burrito inventor Duane Roberts died this month at the age of 88. His obituary stated that, while he appeared warm on the outside, he could be very cold on the inside.

France has decided to enter the Space Race. They have named their hybrid hyperspace rocket the “Baguette One”. Don’t tell me the French do not have a sense of humor!

374 bagpipers came together and set a new World Record for the ‘most bagpipes on a recorded song’. In related news, the recording also broke the World Record for the ‘worst song ever recorded’.

In Florida news, on Nov 13^th, a Pensacola man named “ Christian Ketchup” was convicted of 2^nd degree murder for shooting Tierrs Bunion in a bar parking lot. He pleaded self-defense, but it was pointed out during the trial that the victim was shot in the back ten times. On Nov 16^th, a Port St. Lucie man named “Farmer Pete” opened fire on three people after a heated argument regarding how many eggs a chicken can lay. That same day, a man got into a heated argument with a DJ in a bar parking lot concerning the DJ’s playlist. The DJ drove away but the man followed and killed him in an act of road rage. In an unrelated incident, that same day a car fleeing police crashed into that same bar killing 4 and injuring 11. In a twist of fate, had the DJ been there, he would have been killed. Yeshua Howard shot and killed William “Willie” Joe outside the Mermaid Lounge. Yeshua tried to escape but accidently shot himself in his own leg. While he continued to gimp away leaving a large blood trail, the arresting officer said he was “very easy to follow and apprehend”. And last but not least, Sam Hill III shot 3 people in the Tropical Vibe Bar following a heated disagreement over who owed what on the bar tab. Moral of this story, don’t drink in Florida.

WAYMO has begun to test self-driving cars on the interstate. So now the chances of being in an accident on the interstate are WAYMO?

People in Ohio reported sightings of the rare black squirrel. They described it as sitting in a tree with a black body, white paws and a tail tipped in white. So people in Ohio spotted a cat?

America’s airports are now fully operational. So from now on, all flights will be canceled for the regular reasons.

Dunkin Donuts has announced its newest Christmas advertising campaign. It features ‘The Little Holiday Munchkin’, a heroic doughnut hole character who goes on a journey to find the meaning of Christmas joy. The toy figure and edible munchkin holes will be available wherever Dunkin Donuts are sold. Thus, the little character had its birth in a warm happy bakery and death in a cold gas station toilet.

And finally, the last Lincoln head penny was minted this month after having been in circulation for the past 116 years. This is sad news, but not the worst thing that has ever happened to Lincoln. What… too soon?