Prophecy in the News: July 2025

Police ambush attacks are on the rise in the US. In 2023 there were 115 attacks with 138 patrolmen shot and 20 deaths.

Your very own ‘Personal AI Agent’ will be introducing itself to you next year. An AI Agent will be your go to assistant for many of your everyday needs. For example, you can tell your Agent that you want a shirt or dress and give it the brand or color and size. In seconds the Agent will search the internet and download available choices. It can even make the purchase for you and have it shipped. You can tell your Agent you want a car. Give it the make, model, year and price range. In seconds it will show every car available. It can fill out dealer, banking and DMV paperwork, pay using your assigned banking intuition and have the car shipped to you. You can tell your Agent you want to go on a vacation. Give it the dates and places you want to visit. In seconds it will create an itinerary including flights, hotel ratings and charges and make the reservations. It will also list must see sights, give ratings on restaurants, schedule and pay for all accommodations, tickets to entertainment events and coordinate all transportation needs. All you need to do is show up at the airport (in the Uber your Agent has called, booked, paid for and sent to your home). Speaking of which, it can even find your next home. Give it a location, style and price range. It will find all the homes available, show pictures, down load virtual reality tours of homes, negotiate a price, fill out the contract, contact an inspector, find the best mortgage rate and mail you the Deed with the keys. The future is here!

Trader Joe’s announced they would be opening a total of 30 new stores which means they will also be adding a total of 50 new parking spaces.

Recent data research indicated that men are spending 100 minutes per day on housework activities. This is a new high record for men. The study also showed that women also hit a high mark now spending 200 minutes per day fixing the men’s housework.

In Florida news, a costumed Chuck E. Cheese employee was arrested for using a customer’s credit card to make fraudulent charges and possession of marijuana. The rat was handcuffed in public and led out to a waiting police car. His head was then removed and strapped to the roof of the car. The manager offered to pay for traumatized children to receive deep and profound psychiatric counseling. Also to be considered, for all those currently employed to wear the Chuck E. Cheese costume, this event is a sober reminder that life could get worse.

In other Florida news, an intoxicated man was arrested by the State Patrol for driving a lawnmower down a toll road. This was his third such offense which caused the creation of a new Florida traffic citation. It’s called MUI (Mowing Under the Influence).

The US Postal Service issued a series of commemorative stamp printed to look like those used in the 18 and 1900’s. A time when people needed stamps, traveled long distances to a post office, waited in long lines for the only postal employee to decide whether or not to approve an item which will then be delivered in a few days or maybe a week. While we put a man on the moon in 1969, Ben Franklin could visit a post office today and feel right at home as nothing has changed!

An international chocolate shortage has caused the price of chocolate to spike 15.8%. The cost of white chocolate has remained the same as it only consists of Splenda being poured over a white Crayon.

In similar news, beef prices jumped 12.4% in the US causing Arby’s to create a new motto: “We have the buns!”

Starbucks announced it would be offering Pumpkin flavor coffee in August? Wouldn’t it make more sense to offer pumpkin flavored Gator Aid?

An 8.8 earthquake hit Russia. It was so strong that one of Putin’s trusted staff members accidentally fell out of four story window.

An international poll was conducted to reveal the world’s best airlines. Not one American carrier made the list. This may be because US airlines allow in flight emotional support animals such as miniature horses and dogs. Really? Dogs?

It was reported this month that the longest lightening stroke ever recorded occurred over the US in 2017. It was 515 miles long and lasted seven seconds. One lightening stroke could power a small town for one day. The US experiences 40 million lightening strokes every year.

The annual “Old Jewish Men Rotisserie Chicken Eating Competition” was held in Brooklyn, NY. The winner ate a whole Costco chicken in six minutes. The prize was a gold chicken trophy {what else} and a hot pizza. I suspect what the winner really needed was a water pic?

A new fad has begun with body building enthusiasts. It is reported that muscle mass increases dramatically with the intake of human breast milk. Come on! Everybody knows that milk comes from almonds!

An Australian man was caught stealing only the right foot of 53 pairs of shoes. While being arrested he yelled, “Arrr, matey… you got me to rights! So what gave meself away?”

Russia and North Korea have agreed to schedule direct flights from Moscow to Pyongyang. It’s for people who are fed up with having to wait in line to book flights to Haiti.

A baby was born from an embryo fertilized and frozen in 1994. The thirty year old embryo was donated to a childless couple. The proud parents of the baby were toddlers when the embryo was frozen.

And finally, TV child star Diamond Tankard was arrested in a Tennessee Walmart for theft and aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. Tankard attacked another woman at the register with a sock filled with rocks. Said a perplexed Walmart spokesperson, “I did not know we sold that item.”