Prophecy in the News: May 2024

Keep one eye on the headiness & the other on Scripture and the heavens. 

As of May 31^st, there have been 171 mass shootings in America this year. In Australia with a population of 26 million, there was one mass shooting in 2022, one in 2019 and one in 2018. In Canada with a population of 39 million, there were three mass shootings in 2022. 

Once again the media greatly inflated the college protest events. It turns out that while the nation currently has 15.2 million undergrads, only 2,300 were arrested for disorderly conduct. That’s 0.15% or 1/67^th of 1%. And half of those arrested in N.Y were not students. In a recent poll of the things students most worried about, the Israeli/Gaza War ranked #15 out of sixteen. 

Male fertility has been in a constant decline for the past fifty years. Sperm counts dropped by 50% from 1973 to 2019. This month, fertility scientist conducted tests on the testicles of 100 cadavers. They found plastic microbeads embedded in all one hundred samples with traces of weed killer in half of all sperm samples. They also tested the testicles of 47 dogs and found the same microbeads and traces of weed poisons. When all the organic tissue was dissolved away, it revealed that 75% of the original specimens were composed of plastic.  

Two of the largest pharmaceutical companies in the U.S. have agreed to pay over ten billion dollars as part of a federal law suit concerning their part in the opioid crisis. Walmart will pay one billion. Total payments by all companies involved will total 50 billion dollars over an 18 year payment plan to state and local governments. All the companies said that their fines paid should ‘not’ be considered as an admission of guilt. What? It is estimated that the opioid crisis has cost the country 1.5 trillion dollars in civil, social and law enforcement expenses. 

Every Mother’s Day, a child is encouraged to do the right thing by picking up the phone and calling her. Or, if you are Gen Z, just go up the stairs. 

One thousand gallons of oil was accidently spilled into the Bronx River. Scientists were startled to find that the Bronx River had completely polluted the oil. 

Governor Kristi Noem got a pair of shoes for Mother’s day. As you may have guessed they were Hush Puppies. In other news, the N.Y. Kennel Club was held this month despite Noem’s best efforts. The Kentucky Derby winner received 3.1 million dollars, 2^nd Place 1 million dollars, 3^rd Place $500,000 dollars, and the horse that finished in 4^th place was shot by Governor Noem. 

RFK Jr. stated, “I am going to run for President, but full disclosure, a worm did eat part of my brain.” But even more remarkable, a 70 year old man with a worm eaten brain is considered the ‘Youth Candidate’. The worm apparently found its way into RFK’s brain by way of some uncooked food such as sushi. Maybe he should go back to cooking with fire. Doctors are not sure if RFK’s brain poisoned the worm or the worm starved to death, but either way it was a horrible death for the worm. RFK Jr. went on to state that since 2010, he had experienced memory loss and brain fog. This explains a lot. RFK stated that if the worm got vaccinated, that’s probably what killed it. RFK also reported that he had suffered in the past from mercury poisoning caused by eating too much fish. It turns out the fish were trying to eat the worm in his brain and thus created a vicious cycle. But RFK ended his announcement by stating that he would continue the race as he, “did not know the word quit”. But sadly, it turned out that he did not know the word “quit” because the worm ate the “quit” part of his brain. In related news, Neuralink reported that its first computer chip brain implant did not work. Turns out it was eaten by a brain worm.

Kristi Noem admitted she shot her dog, her goat, and did not meet with N. Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. RFK admitted he had a worm eat his brain, suffers from mercury poisoning and brain fog. What ever happened to politicians lying? 

A female stingray in N.C. who has spent its entire life alone in an aquarium, has given birth. This ability is referred to as Parthenogenesis. However, some women have called this ability a ‘best case scenario’. 

The FCC released a notification that there has never been an actual safety reason for asking phones to be put on ‘Airplane Mode’. The reason they originally made the request was that it was thought that talking while boarding a plane would  lead to a frenzied atmosphere which might then lead to 'air rage'.  

The Catholic church has announced that parishioners can now eat other types of meat on Lent besides fish. The approved meat list includes alligator, beaver and horse. Yummy! 

Every year premature babies die because of insufficient heart development. This month a newborn pacemaker was developed to help saves some of these lives. It is the size of a pinto bean and is placed in the newborns stomach. A wire runs from the device into the heart, and causes the pumping action needed to keep the baby alive long enough for the upper heart to develop. Even more incredible, the device has a battery life of almost three years. 

Researchers have discovered that the various nano structures that make up the wings of butterflies can be copied and applied to a variety of sciences. For example, one pattern was laser sketched onto the lenses of solar panels making them 120% more powerful. Other butterfly wing structures have been etched on metal to make water bead up and roll off. This has led to researchers creating metals that float. This is envisioned as a way to create cities that will one day float on water. 

A.I. developers are creating bots perfectly suited to their owners. They are called 'Personal Companions' and will be able to listen, reason, carry on conversations and offer advice to the owners. Recent data suggest that America is in danger of becoming a nation of loners. A report by the U.S. Surgeon General reveals that America is in the throes of an epidemic of isolation with one out out of two adults experiencing loneliness. This creates a 29% increase in heart disease, a 32% increase in the risk of having a stroke, and a 50% increase in the risk of developing dementia for older adults. It may turn out that a person's best friend is not their mother but a robot!?

The U.S State Department has issued an official warning that an A.I. worst case scenario would pose an 'Existential Level Threat' to the human species. And, that in an A.I. race, humans become the guinea pigs. 

It is now believed that the first trillionaire will be an A.I. entrepreneur. 

There are currently members of Congress that do not know how to log onto Facebook. 

A cat was accidently shipped to Amazon with no water, food or fresh air for six days which begs the question, was the cat mailed there or did it work there? 

Drugs are now being delivered to households using drones. The patient receives a text or phone message concerning the exact time to the minute that the drone will arrive. Then the package is lowered down by a cable. The drone releases the package, takes videos of the owner receiving the package, and then returns to the pharmacy.  

The federal government has allocated 3.3 billion dollars to fill cracks in urban sidewalks. Are they filing the cracks with gold? 

Recent news reports reveal that some of the college students protesting the Gaza War and living in tents were Jews. That’s unbelievable! A Jewish Ivy league student camping? In other news, the homeless in these cites asked if they could move into the empty dorm rooms? 

Kentucky Fried Chicken ran a special this month: eight pieces, six sides, four large sodas and two defibrillator paddles. The franchise is also offering a fragrance (not kidding) reminiscent of their chicken. But why pay for cologne when you can just eat a bucket and smell like KFC all day. Also, there is some concern that the scent might attract sea gulls.

A man recently posted pictures on social media about a lion cub he raised to full maturity. The pictures showed him playfully wrestling with a now full grown lion in his yard. We all know how this will end … right? 

Do not follow your dreams. Instead follow you talent. Learn a trade, work hard, excel and make the money needed to support your spouse, children and possibly parents. Remember, a dream without a plan is only an hallucination. 

Gun enthusiasts have started a trend by giving their children such names as Remington, Wesson, Magnum, Pistol and Shooter. Hipsters have responded by giving their children names like Juicer, Spa, Pries, Aroma, Ensuite and Sprout. 

Biden & Trump have agreed to hold two debates in the Fall. Math question: Two 90 minute debates x’s two 80 year old men = how many bathroom breaks? 

Trump stated, “I’m ready to rumble”. And Biden responded, “Bring it on!” So, apparently two presidential candidates, trying to get the ‘youth vote’ have decided to use catch phrases from the 1980’s?  

Putin cruised to another six year Presidential term after his opponent dropped out … of 4 story window. 

Macy’s announced that they are going to close 150 stores. Really? Where have they been hiding them? 

N.Y. police departments have reported a problem with rats eating the marijuana stored in evidence rooms. The police have now set out traps hidden inside Taco Bell Boxes. 

Polls show that the average American has 5 canvas shopping bags. While PBS donors have an average of 53. 

Now that Amelia Earhart’s plane has been found, the only remaining mystery is, who is the person still using that Red Box? 

How did women get saddled with March as "Women’s History Month"? And why it is followed immediately by April Fool’s Day? 

S.A.T. tests are back. Apparently it’s not racist to see if a high school student paid enough attention in class to have learned something. 

The Boy Scouts of America Association has recently weathered the scandal and accompanying lawsuits of pedophiles serving as Scout Masters. With that in mind, the new name “Scouting America” would seems a little creepy and ominous as who is scouting America and for what?